A short exerpt from Artemis Fowl's diary
by Emmsey Squire
Summary: The title is pretty self-explanitory. Second chapter is up! Horray! Just a warning that this is somewhat to really out of character, so, you're choice if you feel like reading it...
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Helloooouu! Just like to say that these character are of course not owned by moi, but by Mr. Colfer. And I do admit that some parts are quite OOC, but hope you'll enjoy it anyways. I totally messed up by accidentally deleting the last one, which was almost a carbon copy of this, but I wanted this to be on so, sorry. (awkward chuckle) I'm such a dummy! :D

**A short expert from Artemis Fowl's Diary**

Dear readers,

I'm about to pour my entire soul out to you. Ok, I'm lying. I don't normally do this, but a friend suggested that it may relieve me of some stress. And if you ever dared to utter a word of this, I'll…umm…I'll tell Butler to jumpy jump on your head. Have I made myself clear? Good.

I confess. I, Artemis Fowl II, am for the first time in my 14 years on earth, and three others time travelling, confused. Lacking my usual elegance in vocabulary; but yes, I am very much confused. Having gone through all my adventures with the fairy folk, I am feeling something strange. A new emotion perhaps? No, it isn't looove. And please do not try and convince me that this is "the magic of fairies". I'm already sounding like a gibbering moron as is.

I…I don't know. Somehow, to my dislikes, things are changing. My victories are no longer a thrill, but are empty and meaningless nowadays. Of course I'd go online and take a glance at my bank account, then that feeling immediately fades away. But as they say, good things don't last very long. And that tiny twinge of guilt is coming back more often than ever! It's driving me insane!

My mother. I've always loved her. Just never as much as I _feel _I do now. The joy in her eyes just liberates me! And I never really realized how much I wanted to jump onto my father's lap and have him read me a ridiculous story about a wolf and a boy, until I felt the happiness in my fellow twin brothers, Myles and Beckett. I have not ever dared to go near my father when I was young. It was the fear of him scolding me, to stand straighter and hold my gaze steady like a proper man, that kept me away.

And I probably won't get much closer to him now. I'm not a child anymore, and it's the twin's turn to have fun with mother and father. What's that word I'm looking for? Yes, jealousy. I never had my turn to be just a child and have fun like every other. Who am I trying to kid. To be just a child? Like every other? I can't think of anything more repulsive; other than Mulch Diggums' blast from his large behind. No offence though, Mulch. And what do I care? What about the more important things in life? What about "Aurum Est Potestas"? Is nothing ever the same anymore?

I'm not good at these emotional kinds of things, but this I'll have to say. I am greatly um…grateful for, I guess what we may call friends. Butler is a great man. Though massive, but still enjoys romance novels. Yes, I have found that out. He is my shield. Holly Short. A great friend she is. (not in a tone of sarcasm.) I still wish she would join my side; but if she did, I might lose a lot of respect for her. By the way, that kiss meant nothing. We were just both happy that the brains of this operation were still alive.

I very much admire the fairy folk. Their technology is so…advanced! I could make millions off them if I ever got my hands on those. But I won't try and put everything together again like the "C Cube" ever again. I'll probably even make some adaptations to dumb it down a little before putting it on the market. Someone can easily morph those together the way I did, and make a dangerous weapon to use against me. I'm not a complete idiot you know. But of course, there's hardly anything I can't conquer. I believe I have saved the world for at least four times already. Hey, they don't call me a genius for nothing.

Foaly is the most amazing little pony I've ever met in my life. He invented most of the LEP equipment, he has witty retorts, and the best of all, he can do tricks! That was a joke. But it's true, no matter how much I hate admitting it: Someday, there's a chance of him outsmarting to greatest criminal mastermind ever lived. Me.

Mulch and I are naturally partners; but it's so sad to see commander Root go. And all because of a little pixie with a manipulative mind. I don't know whether I should seek revenge on Opal Koboi, or team up with her. I think I'll settle with revenge. Just because she risked my mother's life as well as mine and Holly's for a stupid dream of world domination.

You know very well by now not to weigh my words heavily because you know I can never be completely truthful. The reason for that is I wouldn't want to expose unwanted weaknesses to my foes. But I promise you, the next sentence is nothing but the truth. I am tired. I do not wish to wake up every morning and worry that there is a flaw in my multiple plans and schemes. I no longer even wish to have plans. I feel a faint glow of my conscience beckoning me to go straight. But this life is so predictable sometimes, that I'm literally bored to death. My brain cells are wasted everyday of my life, I _need _to be challenged. Yes, I have considered suicide before, but the option is dumber than, than…goblins! No, trolls.

Well my time is up for today; I have scheduled a lesson on Einstein's General Theory with Myles, Beckett, and Professor Primate. So if you'll excuse me…

Hey, it's been real, it's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun. Oh and remember, if you breathe a word of this, I will hunt you down. Ok, bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hey! So this is the second chapter or whatever you want to call it, of Artemis Fowl's Diary. I don't think it's as good as the first one, but at least I had fun writing it! Please comment, and I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.

* * *

Greetings all,

I see you are here, again, reading my personal thoughts and experiences. Alright then. Just remember the promise you made to me last time. And if you ever break your promise, Butler will break you. Understood?

What should I tell you this time? I have hardly anything that could interest you, and you could hardly have anything that might interest me. It's really hard to decide on such while secretly panicking about the upcoming track and field day. Oh yes, why don't I tell you about that.

It all started in gym class. Of course yours truly had absolutely no intentions at all to participate in such a meaningless and irrelevant activity…umm…no offence to anyone. I'm just no good at this sports stuff, so I don't see a reason why I should partake in these activities. Makes sense, right? That is until the new gym teacher came.

It is spring, the weather was nice, and it wasn't raining. So we had our class outside by the track. He wore an Armani Giorgio black pinstripe suit, and walked in eminently strong strides by the track. Let me just make it clear that you do _not_ wear an Armani to gym class. Then, with a haughty booming voice, he ordered all to run five laps around the track. So everyone began to run at a slow steady pace, and eventually accelerate speed. I, of course, have my pre-prepared, seamlessly forged note at the ready so I may be excused. I hand it to him, he takes it, not even bothering to read it, and does not say a thing.

So I stood there gazing up at him, about to ask whether or not if I was dismissed, and that's when I noticed his strangely intense blue eyes. They were of a shade of blue, probably at its purest, I've ever seen before. Deep within those eyes shone a gleam of hypnotic behest. I felt diminutive and insignificant to his stare, but I dared not look away. I held my gaze maintained a calm expression on my face, right to the moment he broke out with a large grin across his face. Confused, I furrowed my brows. Then it struck me, something was crawling up my leg! I looked down immediately, and unfortunately discovered a larger than average Coleoptera Buprestidae (a jewel beetle) half way up my right shin. Without a moment's hesitation, I bolted down the black tar track in addition to my ear-piercing shrieks. And there you go, my five laps around the track.

I find this most strange and interesting, and I have a deduction to whom or what he might be. He must be related to the fairies somehow, because I am almost sure that he hypnotized that bug to crawl on me just so I would run his precious five laps. And as you know, the fairies have the power to mesmerize using words and eye contact. But he did not have to utter a word to pass on his command. So I figured the only way I can get really close to him and know more about him was to…steal his records! Sadly he caught me in the act. I had a bad day, just don't ask. But he came up with a deal that if I participate in the school track events, he wouldn't say a thing to my parents. Then I threatened him that I would bribe the principal to fire him immediately because I said I would not be in it. And guess what he does? He laughs!! Just laughing! Obviously he doesn't know who I am.

After that day, I found myself in the principal's office trying to wriggle out of a sticky situation about the cafeteria suddenly serving caviar for lunch when Mr. Nichols-the new gym instructor walked in. Thee adults greeted each other, and I getting ready to leave. But Mr. Nichols decided to tell the principal how great of an athlete I am. (And let me tell you, I'm not that great.) Both the teachers were delighted to discuss about what kind of torturous activity I shall be involved with on the track and field day. They were deciding whether to put me in the hurdles or the 200 meter dash. Mr. Nichols joked that he's never heard anyone run that fast or scream that high. Flushed, I dismissed myself to my room as they were continuing the shares of my embarrassments.

I tried explaining to him on another day that sports aren't really my department, and do you know what he does? He laughs, again. He tries explaining to me that if I never try, I can never be good at it like any other goody-goody with a degree. So I tried to explain to him why genii have bad motor skills, and he laughs again. I did not know some one can laugh so much in one day. If it was me, my lungs would have died out already from the lack of air. Then again, he might be magical.

So now I'm slightly worried about falling flat on my face and breaking my nose while running, but at least I can be close enough to Mr. Nichols to plant a tracking device on him to see if he ever visits the magical hotspots. I can also call Foaly or Holly and ask about this strange man who claims to be a human, but is secretly closely related to the fairy folk somehow. But you better not tell anyone about this, or it will spread to his ears before I can plant the tracking device, ok? Right then. Now, thanks to Mr. Nichols, I need buy a silly little home gym set so I can get ready for the track day. Whoopee, fun.


End file.
